Slow Burn
by FuckinPoind3xter
Summary: : : Sheldon/OC; drabbles : :Phoebe is an alcoholic, a brilliant neuro surgeon and Sheldon's first - and true - love. But she's killing herself. And Sheldon - who has always been her place to sleep it off for round two - has had enough.
1. Chapter 1

_**I have been sitting on this for months and just now got the chance to do this:) sort of a companion fic to Her by KelliCola but it's sort of the opposite of her OC Nellie. Basically how she wanted her character to be but she's not fond of darker subject matter.**_

_**Note: **__As it says above, this story will contain darker subject matter and possible triggers. You have been warned._

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_"I'm drowning, Sheldon..."_

* * *

They know something is wrong before they even step into the apartment. If the clothes scattered around the apartment weren't any clue, the angry and aggressive way Leonard was eating his breakfast was a dead give away.

"What's uh," Howard sinks into a spot on the couch, flicking away a lacy bra from the armrest so Raj can sit . "What's up?"

Leonard glares over the rim of his glasses. Penny, who had been staring at her boyfriend quizzically from the kitchen, sighs. She lifts a mug of coffee to her lips and then smacks her lips, gesturing at Leonard.

"He's been stewing all morning," she shook her head. "Been muttering about someone named Phoebe."

She notices the shift in the two and raises and eyebrow. Raj and Howard exchange a look before Howard sighs, patting his thighs.

"So she's back?"

Leonard nods angrily, setting his bowl on the edge of the coffee table. "Sheldon's been in there nursing her all day. Stumbled in here last night too drunk to speak."

Penny looked between everyone and she spoke up again. "Whose Phoebe?"

Howard shook his head. "She 's a girl Sheldon knew from college, comes up whenever she needs a place to sleep off her hangovers or bad trips."

"Why come to Sheldon though," she leaned forward onto the counter.

"Because...Sheldon loves her."


	2. Chapter 2

When she finally met this 'Phoebe', Penny wasn't all that impressed. A sad point considering this woman was supposed to be as smart - if not smarter - than their dear Sheldon.

Tattoos of monsters and several Geisha (including a random equation or two - which was odd in itself ) adorned the expanses of her arms and chest, her back host to more than one scar that left questions on the tip of her tongue.

As Phoebe stumbled down the hallway she grunted at the light coming through the open curtains and promptly closed them. The straps of the bra she wore dug into her skin as she stretched on her toes and Penny watched her rummage around in one of two garbage bags that were near the front door.

When Phoebe finally looked at Penny, a long curled strand of unnaturally red hair fell over the bridge of her nose. She straightened her back and brushed the hair away, a shirt and a pair of jeans clenched in her right hand.

"You must be Penny," her voice was husky, like an old movie stars.

Penny began to feel...strangely inadequate.

"You must be Phoebe," Penny stood, Leonard's gaze following her hand as she held it out to the girl loathed by...everyone. "It's a pleasure to meet you."

Phoebe took her hand, lips a firm line while Penny's smile faltered. Her dark eyes ran over to Leonard. ""Pretty girl, Leonard."

She dropped Penny's hand and brushed past her, steps firm and short until she reached the bathroom. If not for the tense atmosphere in the room, the shocked, gaping expression on a possibly naked Sheldon's (Phoebe's tall form blocked most of her sight into the bathroom - thank God) face might have gotten a good laugh out of Penny.

But she could only stare at Leonard, who was still glaring at the spot where Phoebe had stood moments ago. Penny had never seen him so angry before, especially towards someone who was supposedly 'using' Sheldon. Penny was always the one to get upset.

Right now, all she wanted to do was curl up in a corner. It almost seemed like she had sucked the happiness out of Penny.

"I think I can see why none of you like her now..."

But the question remained: how could Sheldon love this woman?


	3. Chapter 3

**_I_**_** would like to give a big thank you to: sazzieazzie, stock2007 and SRAM. Your reviews are much appreciated!**_

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He would never admit it, but when he saw her face on the other side of his apartment door, his heart stopped. Well, not really because then he would be dead - but he digressed.

Leonard was mad, of course he was mad. He always prattled on about how Phoebe was just using him as a place to sleep off a hangover. What did Leonard know about he and Phoebes' relationship? He didn't know a thing, seeing as he wasn't as smart as Sheldon and Phoebe. No one was as smart as the both of them.

Phoebe was a brilliant neuro-surgeon, had been since she was 17.

_"Coulda started sooner," she had whispered one night. "But I was too busy catching up with a childhood wasted."_

Sheldon was just glad to have her back, and didn't care about Leonard's incessant (and unnecessary) warnings. He just didn't know the Phoebe Sheldon knew. He didn't know how she laughed at bad jokes, that she liked cantaloupe but not watermelon. Leonard didn't know anything.

He just knew her love of whiskey when she lost a patient due to the nurses not caring for them properly after surgery.

It painted a sad picture for his Phoebe and though Sheldon knew, deep in his black little heart, that she would be gone before he woke, he always insisted she would stay.

But she never did.

And he couldn't admit that the fact stung, but...only a little.


	4. Chapter 4

_**This chapter feels so...awkward.**_

* * *

When she's sober, Phoebe is pleasant.

She likes to fawn over Sheldon, even takes him shopping. Sheldon doesn't like shopping, but he seemed ecstatic to be with her. Penny thought it strange, how Sheldon and Phoebe rotated around eachother, almost in sync with her high-strung counterpart.

What she found even more strange was the way Phoebe occasionally left a bra hanging from Sheldons doorknob. In the week she had been in the apartment, the bra appeared three times. Penny found it odd, since soft music accompanied the bra from inside the room.

And one day, she couldn't help herself.

"Come on Raj, just get the usual," Leonard whined from his seat in the living room.

Penny crept down the hallway, chewing her lip as she stared at the door handle. Eventually she huffed and reached for the door, cringing briefly at the way she heard Phoebe mutter 'Sheldon' in that husky voice of hers.

She couldn't understand the lyrics to the song but it sent tingles over Penny's skin. It sounded sexual, but the scene in the room was anything but.

Phoebe and Sheldon were sitting on the floor, Phoebe running her hand up Sheldon's shoulder while he was prattling on about the train set he was working on. The smile on Phoebe's face read adoration but the way her eyes were set, there was some kind of sadness there.

"Penny," Sheldon's scolding voice made her jump.

Phoebe's face dropped and she looked over at Penny with an odd looked. Penny just pointed at the door handle though they obviously didn't know what she was pointing at so after clearing her throat, Penny spoke.

"I just...curious...bra?"

Way to go, Penny.

She frowned but Phoebe laughed, Sheldon disgruntled at having Phoebe's attention taken from him. The red head twisted to the radio on Sheldon's bedside table and turned the volume down a little. She smiled at Penny again, resting her head on Sheldon's shoulder; Penny felt like she was intruding upon...something more than what was really happening.

"I do that to keep the boys out," Phoebe told her.

Penny's brow furrowed. "How..."

Sheldon was still frowning.

Phoebe chuckled. "Sounds like a weird plan but Howard tried to badger me about a date when Sheldon tried to show me his display last time. Gets him away from me."

"Oh..."

Sheldon growled. "Ok," he waved a hand at Penny. "Now shoo!"

Phoebe chewed her bottom lip and Penny just shook her head, so hopefully confused and shut the door. The soft music started again as Penny shuffled back into the living room, sitting beside Howard with a weird little smile on her face.


	5. Chapter 5

**_All about Phoebe, this is slowly climbing towards a head._**

* * *

He's sick and she's not around.

Leonard can guess where she is while Sheldon sits on the couch, dozing off while he waits for _her _to come back. Her stuff is still piled behind the couch so she _is _coming back. Only God knows when and he might still be a little iffy on the details.

After Sheldon's fifth bob-of-the-head, Leonard sighs and rubs his forehead, leaning on the counter. "Sheldon, go to bed."

Sheldon blinks a few times, adjusting his comforter around himself. "But Phoebe..."

"Looks like she's gonna be in late. Go to bed, I'm sure she'll wake you up when she gets here."

Sheldon hesitates then nods, grumbling as he stands and shuffles back to his room. Leonard groans when he hears the door shut then immediately hears harsh singing outside the door. The door handle rattles and then twists, door opening to reveal Phoebe.

She braces both hands on the door frame, slightly above her head which is angled to the right. She looks at Leonard through a tangle mess of red hair and then stumbles into the apartment, slamming the door shut. The tight, leather mini-skirt creaks as she stumbles towards the hallway but her path is (obviously) blocked by the love seat. Her left knee hits it and she hisses, leaning onto the armrest as she hisses between her teeth.

"What are you doing," Leonard asks.

She breathes in deeply through her nose. "Sheldon is sick..." she mutters. "I gotta take care of him."

"You can't take care of him when you can't even see a chair in your way."

She glared at him. "I...can take care of him. He needs me to sing Soft Kitty," she mumbles, trying to stand straight but merely crumbling again. "I'm the only one that does it right..."

"He doesn't need a drunk helping him do anything," Leonard's brow furrowed when he saw the blood flaking around her right ankle. "Phoebe, what the hell happened to your leg?"

She slouched down a little, looking down at her leg. "Oh right," she brushed away some of the blood on her leg. It just smeared. "That damn dog must've got me then..."

Leonard sighed and walked over to her. "Look, I'll help you to my room and you sleep there. I guess I can take care of Sheldon.

She looked at him in bewilderment as he helped her to her feet and began to pull her down the hallway. "You're being nice to me..."

He nodded with a heavy sigh, nudging his door open. "Yeah well...Sheldon may be annoying as hell but you mean a lot to him and every time I'm rude to you he takes it out on me."

Phoebe chuckled and let Leonard drop her onto his bed. As she toed off her heels and sank back into his comforter, she breathed in deeply and then frowned, looking up at Leonard with a sad look in her eyes.

"I'm sorry Leonard..."

He stared down at her for a long time. "I know you are, Phoebe."

It was an insult...and she took it with a sad smile.


	6. Chapter 6

_**I am...so happy this story is doing so well. Continue to review guys. Oh, and sazzieazzie, your suggestion has been taken into account:)**_

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"I like you better sober."

The words stung, but they should. Especially coming from Sheldon.

She stared up at him from her spot at the bottom of the stairs, a flask inches from her lips. He cut an imposing figure up the flight of stairs, fists clenched at his sides, cast in a shadow. She almost considered putting the flask down, and almost did that beforr an old woman came from downstairs.

Phoebe immediately took a tentative sip, Sheldon waiting for the woman to get out of ear shot before he spoke again.

"Can you just...not?"

Phoebe glanced at him sideways then her bottom lip jutted out and she shrugged. "Don't know," she took a slow sip. "Never tried."

"Can you?"

She paused. "Maybe one day..."

"But not today," he muttered. He cleared his throat but she wouldn't look at him. "Why were you watching me sleep this morning?"

Sbe shrugged, brushing her hair back from her neck. "You were talking in your sleep...I haven't heard you do that in awhile."

"I do it when I'm nervous."

She knew what he wouldn't say. She was giving him night terrors. Of course...of course. What else would give him such fits? She was always the cause of some problem.

"I need a drink..." she muttered to an empty flask.


	7. Chapter 7

She's been sober for three days and refuses to speak.

She sits by the large window in the living toom, staring down at the traffic below. Sheldon appears mystified, eating while the other chatter on about how their days went; Penny seems to be the only one that notices any difference.

But, when she opens her mouth to question it, Leonard shoots her a look that says 'Don't Mention It'. So she doesn't, just grumbles into her food then half-enthusiastically talks about a man that made a scene in the restuarant today.

After awhile, Phoebe stands, wrapping her thin gray coat tighter around her body. All eyes turn to her but she doesn't glare like expected, she just stares for a moment then lets in a deep breath.

"I'm going...somewhere," she mutters, moving towards the door.

Eyes fall to Sheldon, who just stares after her with an almost...amused look on his face. Penny and Leonard exchanged a look then went back to their food.

"She's coming back," Sheldon says matter-of-factly.

"After she gets more alcohol," Howard mutters.

Sheldon shakes his head. "Nope, she promised no more drinking."

"Sheldon," Leonard sighs. "How do you know she didn't just go to get drunk?"

Sheldon looks up, eyes slightly widened. "Because she promised."

Leonard shook his head, fighting the typical urge to explain to Sheldon the instibility of an alcoholics promises.


	8. Chapter 8

_**Now, before anyone says anything, yes, Phoebe does like to dissapear a lot. I have had to deal with a person who has a similiar habit to go with her other...bad habits.**_

_**Note: **the next chapters content is on debate so I figured I would ask you guys. Anyone game for a little M rated content? Just curious, if not, I won't post. Totally cool._

* * *

Its too early to be awake, Leonard decides, but he can't seem to go back to bed. The sun is barely up, its Saturday, and he wants nothing more than to sleep in. He supposes now is a god a time as any to go through his emails he had been neglecting. His inbox had accumulated over three hundred messages already.

He glares at the computer from across the room then picks up his mug. "Coffee first," he mutters against the rim.

As he takes his first sip, he jumps. The door handle jiggles for a long moment and Leonard raises an eyebrow, listening to a key slide through the gears.

Phoebe stumbles into the apartment, letting out a squeak when her belt loop got hooked on the doorknob. It jerked her back and she stumbled, unintentionally slamming the door. They both cringed. She sighed and undid her belt loop, walking towards the couch until she noticed Leonard.

"Good morning Leonard."

"Where'd you go, Phoebe?"

"Straight to the point," she grumbled, rubbing her hands together. "Michaels."

Leonard raised an eyebrow for the second time. "You don't like clubs."

Phoebe shrugged. "The music was good," she looked around. "Sheldon still asleep?"

Leonard nodded, the room fell into silence. He watched her fidget for a moment, eyebrow still raised in amusement. He had never seen her like this before, she didn't have to say it, he just knew.

"You're sober."

She looked up. "Uh...yeah, now I am. Got a bit tipsy last night...their alcohol sucked."

"Still sober."

"Don't count it as a win," she warned.

Because who knew better about her inability to keep a clean track record than the drunk herself. It wasn't a win and Leonard knew that. But he had to admit, it was nice seeing Sheldon actually smile with her in the room. He hadn't done that in a long time.

So Leonard couldn't admit he saw her sneaking sips of the brandy he kept in the top shdlf. It was a gift from Penny, something to share when something big happened in their lives.

And Phoebe broke the seal.


	9. Chapter 9

_**Alright, after much debate with my muse and her council, I have finally broken down and decided to post this. I hadn't planned on content like this but by the time I got through typing it, I actually **__realized __**what I was typing and hit save. Your decision on whether or not it sticks or gets replaced with the alternate document.**_

_Warning(!): __**Heavy M rating for sexual content. This is just...all so dirty.**_

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He was stirred from his slumber by a breeze. Then the insistent tugging on his clothes, most pointingly, his breeches. When he felt smooth flesh slide against one of his most private parts, he bolted into awareness but was pushed back down gently by a splayed hand.

Phoebe stared at him, right half of her face blocked by her hair. She had a blank expression on her face, her hand still past the hem of his breeches. His breath came in rapidly between his lips, blood flushing his cheeks, chest and other areas. His hips bucked involuntarily as she stroked him, eliciting a small squeak from his lips.

Phoebe pushed up gently, pressing her lips hotly against his. Her nails flexed, dug into his chest a little and her hand stroked him again, making him struggle to suppress a groan. As his senses fought to come back, he pulled back, hearing their lips pop in seperation.

"Ph-Phoebe what are y -"

"I lied," she spat, moving her hand to his hip, her other hand still pressing down on his chest.

His brow furrowed. "Excuse me?"

She sighed, as if the answer were supposed to be obvious. "The other day, when you asked me why I was watching you sleep," she shook her head, looking down. "I...I was contemplating doing just this," her hand on his chest ran up to his throat, her eyes meeting his.

"You...me?"

She smiled, face full of sadness. "Yes Sheldon...yes..."

He swallowed thickly, elbows beginning to ache as he still propped himself up. "I...I don't know what to say..."

Her lips twitched and she swallowed. "Do you...are you willing to try?"

His immediate response, a fierce bob of the head, made her pupils subconciously dilate. She took his mouth in hers hungrily, their breath unified as a loud panting in the room. She guided his searching hands, letting him fall onto his back in soft sheets while his hands pressed against her back, her hips.

Her right hand wormed into his pajama pants, taking him into her palm and tugging a small gasp from his lips. It makes her purr, her chest rumbling against his. He dares for her chest, left hand tentavily brushing around her breast, the silky fabric of the camisole she had worn to bed. She pulls away from his mouth, her tongue glossing over her lips as she pushes his hand firmly against her chest. He is not overly surprised at the soft (almost squishy) lump of flesh in his hands. He is almost like a kitten batting a ball of yarn.

Phoebe chuckles, wiggling her hips up, straddling him. She coaxes him into lifting his hips so she can wiggle his pants down just enough to release his 'tool' from the stitched confines. He stares down the length of his chest, heaving in a breath as she tugs a little harder.

She bites her lip and that, for some reason, serves to make him twitch in her hand.

"You...you sure about this," she whispers in that husky voice.

He tears his eyes away from her working hand and swallows at her pouty lips. Her hair is a shaggy mess on her head, her elbows slightly turned inwards to puff up her chest a little bit.

She is his ideal of beauty.

"Yes, Phoebe."

There is something akin to joy in her eyes and she grasps him firmly, moving up to poise him at her entrance. Her thighs are burning as she slowly slides down onto him. She lets her head slowly loll back, lips parting, jaw slack. Her skin prickles and she lets him go, sliding all the way until her pelvis meets his. As she slowly rocks her hips against his, hands braced back on his knees, Sheldon finally lets his eyes close, relaxing his shoulders but his hands grip her hips.

She reaches up, right hand covering his left against her skin. She pushes forward, muscles flexing as she lifts her hips up, slowly gliding back down on him; he gasps, her walls clenching him almost painfuly.

She is the one to set the pace. She is painfully slow, he wants more but whatever she is doing is enough. More than enough. His ears listen while his eyes remain closed, hear her sharp, rapid breaths as she does eventually pick up the pace. Skin smacks, Sheldon moans. Phoebe bites her lips, feeling her climax coming. Her thighs are burning but so are her insides. All for Sheldon, a man she has known...forever.

A strangled cry comes from her mouth as Sheldon finally uses his hips in this dance. He bucks up sharply, pinching her sensitive clit between their bodies. Her walls come down, she slumps forward while Sheldon is letting out his own moan, his grip on her hips tight, painful. He bucks again and she cries out once more before becoming a useless heap on his chest.

They catch their breaths, Sheldon twining his fingers behind her back. She runs a hand up his chest, feeling content, happy.

But, as usual, she doesn't stay long. As his breath evens into slumber, she untangles herself from him, adjusts her cami and grabs a coat.

She's gone when he wakes up.

But...he insists she'll come back.

Leonard is still baffled by what he heard last night.

And Sheldon is more smug than usual.


	10. Chapter 10

_**Whoops, sorry its been this long guys o.O I've been dealing with some very personal matters but I have some free time now. Back to Sheldon. And to those reading, following, faving and reviewing - you're all amazing.**_

_**P.S.: and to those engrossed with the story Her (Sheldon/OC), the writer has lost her email and is unable to use her account so it may be awhile for an update. She's my neighbor. I may force her to create a new account so keep snooping my profile for details.**_

* * *

She's high again.

Not drunk, oh no.

She informs them all its cocaine.

"Party poopers," she slurs in the doorway.

Bernadette and Penny share a look, Howard is apprehensive, Raj is justifiably nervous and Leaonard is angry. Angry because he's sick of dealing with her. Angry because, despite it all, Sheldon was his best friend and this woman was ruining him.

"You're trash."

That silences the room.

Its Sheldon, and he actually looks...hurt. Devestated. And she deflates, pupils constricting, dilating, muscles twitching. She and Sheldon stare at each other from across the room, the air is tense.

"Sh-Sheldon..."

"No," his voice trembles, from anger or sorrow, only he knows. "No, you're trash. I'm done."

"Sheldon -"

She stumbles forward but catches herself, desperation in her eyes. She fucked up. She fucked up and she knows it. She lost her job, she's losing her mind. She never thought she could lose Sheldon but its looking like a possibility.

"Get help."

He turns and stalks back down the hallway, out of sight. She lets out a sob and pushes everyone out of her way, trailing after him with pleas then a few heavy fists to the door.

"Sheldon, please," she screams, she sobs. "Please let me in!"

For the first time, no one hears the door open. But they do hear her sobs, and his trembling hiccups, and its too much.

* * *

_**Okey dokey guys, we're nearing the end of this little tale. Not sure how many chapters are left but what I have typed up ahead of time reads into a serious climax. Nothing more depressing than this, so theres that.**_

_**Review my followers - review! Mwahahahahahaha**_


	11. Chapter 11

**_Sheldon kills me... _**

**_I'm not content with the end so this will be edited but this will be the last for two weeks. I saw Age of Ultron and my mind is just spazzing with new ideas for Avengers so all of my effort will be for them. _**

* * *

"So...you locked her in your room..."

Sheldon looked up from his oatmeal, looking over to Leonard who was staring down the hallway; was he not affected by the sobbing coming from his room? Sheldon nodded slowly and took another bite of his breakfast.

"Industrial lock," Howard smiled proudly. "Yeah, she's not getting out of there."

"This is wrong," Penny looked disgusted.

"Eh..." Leonard shook his head. "Last time Sheldon talked her into rehab she snuck out halfway through her treatment. Heck, we're more capable of taking care of her..."

"Even if it sounds like she's being murdered," Howard took a sip of his coffee and stood. "Well, since I am no longer needed, I'll just be on my way."

He huffed when no one even gave him a second glance and stonped out. Sheldon looked up curiously, his bowl empty.

"Oh good, he's gone."

Penny and Leonard gave him a scolding look then jumped when they heard a loud thump and a pained cry. "Sheldon!"

"Oh, it seems I am in trouble."

Penny raised an eyebrow. "How can you tell?"

Sheldon stood and shuffled towards the kitchen. "She said my name the same way when I walked in on her changing the first time."

Penny looked at him in bewilderment but Sheldon just walked back to his bedroom; she could hear Phoebe begging to be let out but he only gave her permission to go to the bathroom so long as she was handcuffed to him.

"The first time?"


	12. Chapter 12

_**Oh my goodness guys, its been a real stressful pause since my last update. On the plus side, my Avengers story us doing great and I'm having a blast working on it. On the down side, my aunt - whose my inspiration for Phoebe - just bailed on our offer for her to get her life back together. She left us after spending a week here. Its depressing but oh well, she's pissed away her life and I'm done.**_

_**But, it gives me experience in Sheldon's perspective on his situation with Phoebe.**_

* * *

He's imagined her sober.

And she always turns into that bubbly seventeen year old girl that beat up his bullies when she could get her hands on them; she turns into that seventeen year old girl who was his first _real _kiss - she said it was so future girlfriends weren't dissapointed, but now he knows better, and oh how she must laugh at how there were no future girlfriends.

She turns into a beautiful young woman with a passion for science and brains, clear healthy skin with bright tattoos and a pearly smile. She laughs without a slur and she doesn't have issues with people; so much distrust in the human race.

She is Phoebe.

This woman in his bed - the one shaking and sweaty, moaning out his name and for help - is far from Phoebe. She has become a monster that has almost tortured him with the worry and taken all he could give...

He looks up from his comicbook as he hears the sheets shift, eyes skimming over the edge of the paper as he sees her looking for him with mussy hair. When she sees him, through the sweat and the pain, and reaches for him. He hesitates then methodically folds his comic book back and twists back to place it back into its right spot.

He stretches a hand out and takes hers tightly in his, rubbing his thumb slowly over the back of her hand. She smiles and yawns, burying her face in the sheets and softly snoring. Sheldon sighs, feeling like he is having an out - of - body experience. This isn't him, he doesn't touch people - especially girls. Sex was unsanitary until her, touching was forbidden unless it was her.

He couldn't just let her go when he changed his strict habits for her, when the wrong things seemed okay so long as it was with her.

Sheldon swallowed, looking to the door, hearing Leonard and Penny whispering in the living room; they had stayed for moral support, to make sure Phoebe didn't talk him into giving up. He would never admit he appreciated Leonard's support, especially since there was so much disdain between he and his Phoebe.

Sheldon leaned forward, pressing a chaste kiss to Phoebe's cheek. "I won't leave you again," he whispered, hoping she couldn't hear him.

* * *

_**Yerp, angst tastic but I'm deeply ashamed and torn about my aunt's choices right now.**_


	13. Chapter 13

_**Closer and closer to the end...**_

_**And I'm posting at 3:46 a.m. (here anyway) but I was thinking ofwhat to update this story with and then I was swimming in Walking Dead feels (if you follow, I was watching Beth Greene's death scene and for some reason it chokes me up; mainly because of Daryl's reaction, I think) so this may seem a little angsty...maybe**_

* * *

She tells him she doesn't want to be there anymore.

"I have things to do, Sheldon," she murmurs, fingers curling to fists on the tops of the sheets covering her thighs.

"No," he shakes his head, trembling at the bedside. "No, I can't let you leave."

She looks up at him, eyes full of something close to bewilderment. "Sheldon...you won't stop me from leaving."

He knew that, he had never been able to in the past. She always slipped through his fingers like fine grains of sand, water through rocks, but he just couldn't let that happen this time. He just couldn't. But he didn't know how to stop her, didn't know of anything that could keep her here, with him. She would always leave.

"Why," he shivered. "Why do you have to leave? Why...Why can you not just stay here...with me? With us?"

Phoebe licked her lips. "I don't need to explain to you, Sheldon," her voice was firm. "I'm not a child, and Sheldon," she reached out, taking one of his hands into hers and pulling him close. "Don't think I ever meant to hurt you, any of you. I...I was in a very bad place," she looked down. "I think thats just how its supposed to go. If not, I wouldn't have ended up with so many good memories with you."

He couldn't speak. Not because he was stunned or scared or choked up...he just couldn't find his voice. But she didn't seem to mind, she just kissed the back of his hand and got choked up for him. He slowly sank into the chair he had become so familiar with and tightened his grip on her hand.

"I'm leaving, Sheldon," she spoke firmly, like a mother to a child. "But I promise no alcohol," he looked up, eyes distrusting. "And I know you don't believe me, and my words aren't enough, but they are all I got."

He blinked, lips twitching in the corners and nose tickling with tears. She smiled sadly and leaned towards him, tenderly kissing his bottom lip, lingering even though he did not reciprocate.


	14. Chapter 14

_**This end is grating on my nerves, like I don't know any other way to end it but in typical cliches. Any ideas? PM me if you have an idea...**_

* * *

Ever watch someone sleep?

Phoebe has an annoying habit of doing that, though anyone would when they saw how uncomfortable Sheldon was. He was still seated in that damn chair and she didn't know whether to wake him up and move him or just leave him be; in the end, she opted to leave him in the chair. He didn't even wake up as the door clicked shut behind her, he wouldn't notice she was gone until morning, she knew for sure.

But Leonard would.

"Can't even say goodbye to him?"

Phoebe cringed, hand on the doorknob. She looked back to Leonard who was holding a glass of orange juice. "So you can't sleep either," she muttered, fingering the hem of the Flash t - shirt she had borrowed from Sheldon; it still smelt like her sweat.

"Leaving everything here, huh," Leonard questioned. "How can you do that to him?"

"He knows I'm leaving," she snapped.

"At the crack of dawn," Leonard shook his head. "Phoebe -"

"I don't need a lecture, Leonard," she opened the door. "I'm leaving," she looked queasy. "Just let me go, will you?"

"You don't even care that you're gonna hurt him?"

"Yes! That's why I'm leaving," she snarled. "I have to. I'll just keep hurting him and I can't stand it. Let. me. go."

"You're just gonna go get drunk and come back," Leonard muttered. "We'll see you in a week."

"Fuck you Leonard."

And she slammed the door behind her, making the wall even shutter. Leonard shook his head and went back to his stool at the counter, cringing when he heard a door in the back of the apartment open. He looked at Sheldon when he stumbled into the living room, the man looking like a startled rabbit; when he looked to Leonard, there was a hint of betrayel in his eyes.

"She left," he whispered.

Leonard nodded. "Yeah."

"And tou didn't stop her?"

"I tried, Sheldon," Leonard sighed; he could already feel a headache forming.

"Not hard enough apparently," Sheldon quipped before turning on his heel and stomping back to his room.

Leonard could have sworn his voice cracked.

* * *

_**Two, maybe three chapters left? Then this will be complete. Depending on the ending, there may be a small sequal.**_


	15. Chapter 15

_**Sabie0521: **__there actually is no likable trait about Phoebe, not anymore and even before she became This Phoebe, she was mean and cruel. She was nice to Sheldon and she does love him, but she's selfish because she never got to be when she was a child. I don't really feel like going back to her childhood but just know she is severly traumatized and she won't change. Sorry if that dissapoints you._

**_So, I've decided on a sequel to this sordid tale. Phoebe may redeem herself, she may not._**

* * *

They'll meet again, ten years down the line.

He's touring for lectures, he and the boys will be laid over in New York for personal reasons; Sheldon will argue that Bernadette going into labor doesn't mean they all have to drop what they're doing - second kid and all, Sheldon mentions his suggestion to get fixed. Whatever Howard throws at his face, gets Sheldon right in the eye so he's waiting for stitches.

And he knows that voice anywhere.

"Clem! Clementine, I swear to God if you don't get your bullhonkus back over here I am going to kick your little rump!"

He looks up and then regrets it when the dull pain hums through his skull. There's a little girl giggling under a chair nearby, her short sausage curls a deep, deep red and she's wearing blue jeans and a blue shirt with a candy skull on it.

She doesn't see him at first, and he's glad for that. The only thing that has changed about her is her hair is shorter, not in those thick curls he remembers. She's wearing a conservative black dress - does she have more tattoos, or is he imagining things? He's not even sure she's really there - with a yellow backpack slung over her right arm, a labcoat over that. Her heels click with her firmed jaw and she hones in on the little girl thinking this is funny.

"Wait til we get to the car," she quips, but the little girl seems to know she is full of hot air as she takes her hand, still grinning.

"Phoebe?"

And she stills, looking down at him while the little girl - Clementine - gives them both a strange look; she...she has his eyes. Phoebe looks bewildered and also relieved. She looks down at Clementine and purses her lips, setting her coat and the backpack in a chair before smiling.

"Sheldon," she whispers. "Its uh...its been awhile."

"Ten years," he instills, standing then flinching at his eye. "You left. You left while I was asleep and didn't come back, didn't send a letter...you broke my heart. Why? Why would you do that?"

Phoebe swallowed, looking guilty. "Sheldon," she pulled Clementine ahead. "This is Clementine, we call her Clem."

"Hi," Clem chirped. "You'really tall!"

Sheldon hesitates. "Uh. thank you?"

"No problem!"

He looks up to Phoebe, who chuckles. "Clem is my daughter. She just turned ten yesterday."

"Yeah! I'm a big girl now and Momma is taking me -"

"Clem," Phoebe scolds. "Go sit with Aunt Jenny at the desk, I wanna talk to Sheldon a few minutes longer."

"Okey dokey," Clementine looks like she can't wait to run off to the receptionists desk.

Phoebe folds her hands in front of her and looks back to Sheldon. "She's the smartest in the school," she cocks her head. "What happened to your eye?"

"Howard threw something at me," Sheldon pouts. When she reaches out, he steps back. "No."

"Sheldon -"

"That...She is why you left? You didn't have to."

"Yes I did," she sighed. "You ttied, Sheldon, but I needed an iron hammer and my Dad was the only route. I can't claim I'm clean...I slip up...but not like before. Clem keeps me straight. Like I said, she's one smart cookie. Ever been scolded by a ten year old? Really makes you feel stupid, even a brain surgeon."

Sheldon furrows his brow. "You won't come back, will you," she shook her head. "Does she know?"

Phoebe smiles. "Oh yes, she knows who you are. And ya know...she really adores you."

Sheldon fears something flutter in his chest, something primal and warming, something he has never felt before. He sees Phoebe smiling at him and feels that twinge amplified.

"She doesn't know me."

"Doesn't matter Sheldon, she really loves you."

"How can I know her?"

Phoebe shrugs. "I don't know, I want her to know you...I just don't know if a relationship can work. And even if you say we don't need to be together...I can't live with that."

He feels a deep sadness within him. He doesn't know what to say, doesn't know what to do. She just stares at him, waiting patiently with a placid look to her. She is calm and collected, a rare sight since their childhood; though, truth be told, even back then she was a mighty whirlwind.

"I will be here for a few days," Sheldon murmured. "Perhaps we can see each other?"

Phoebe smiled, nodded. "That sounds good. You can come by here this time tomorrow and I'll drive us to pick Clem up from her dance class. You should see her, Sheldon, she's a natural."

"Maybe one day," he quirks his lips in the corner. "We'll talk later...I'm sure you need to tend to her now."

Phoebe waved a hand. "Jenny can handle her while I fix whatever Howard did to you," she smiles. "I've missed you, Sheldon."

He hesitated but smiled, taking her offered hand. "I've missed you too..."

* * *

_**I'm not particularly excited about the ending but I'm at least content. This will be posted as complete now but there may be another chapter posted later. I don't know.**_


End file.
